How to Fall Page 17

  ‘It was nothing to do with me.’

  ‘It was everything to do with you! It was supposed to make her less fanciable as far as you were concerned and it worked.’

  ‘I didn’t know anything about it until it was too late,’ Ryan said weakly. ‘I’d have stopped her if I’d known what she was planning.’

  ‘Don’t you feel guilty about it?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Seriously?’

  ‘I can’t take responsibility for what someone does, even if it’s to impress me or whatever.’ He sighed. ‘Look, I’m sorry Freya’s not around any more. I don’t know what happened to her and I think you should just drop it.’

  ‘I can’t,’ I said softly. ‘I need to know.’

  He shook his head, baffled. ‘She’s gone. You’re not going to bring her back. Leave it alone and just enjoy being here.’

  ‘It’s easy to say that.’

  ‘It’s easy to do.’ Ryan stopped walking and held onto my hand until I stopped too. ‘It’s a beautiful night. And you’re beautiful.’

  I could feel my heart thumping. He was looking at me like I was the only girl on the beach, or maybe the world. And I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. Tick for good sense of humour. Double tick for good looks. Gold star for athletic ability.

  But it didn’t add up to being what I wanted. What I wanted was—

  Before I could complete the thought, he pushed me so I had to walk backwards – and trust him not to let me fall – until I collided, quite hard, with the wall of a building that proved to be a deckchair-hire kiosk.

  ‘Hey. Watch it.’

  ‘Sorry. Did I misjudge it?’ Ryan leaned in, and I took a tiny breath, which was all I could manage. The old familiar jolt of fear kicked my heart into a canter. Oh, here we are. Danger again. I felt trapped and I was more worried about Ryan and his intentions than I had been before he’d lied to me. Or rather, before he’d lied to me so I’d noticed it. What else had he been faking? But I didn’t want to let him know how I was feeling.

  ‘I just wasn’t expecting to get a building in the small of my back.’

  I barely got the words out before he bent his head and kissed me, and even though I had known it was coming, it still took me by surprise. If he’d asked permission I might have said no, but I hadn’t been given a choice. I only had two options: kick him in the nuts or try to enjoy it. Option B wasn’t really that much of a hardship, I told myself. He was really quite a catch.

  Or possibly a cold-blooded killer.

  And it didn’t honestly matter if Ryan was totally innocent, or if he was by far the best-looking guy I’d ever kissed. He was still the wrong person – quite completely not the one I wanted to be kissing. I felt absolutely nothing beyond a fervent wish that he would stop.

  After approximately a trillion years he broke away and leaned back to see how I was enjoying myself.

  I cleared my throat. ‘This is what you had in mind all along, isn’t it? You were aiming for this precise place. I bet you’ve done this before.’

  ‘Yeah, but not with you. So that makes it special.’

  I looked over his shoulder at the party that was going on in the distance, far enough away that the people were anonymous shadows to me. He turned my face back to his and before I could stop him he kissed me again.

  It was not a Prince-Charming kind of kiss, second time round. He pressed his body against mine, and with the kiosk behind me I had nowhere to go, but I didn’t have enough air to complain. I became aware of the hand that was sliding up under my top at about the same time as I heard a muffled gasp. I grabbed hold of Ryan’s wrist and opened my eyes to see Claudia standing a few paces away, stooping slightly to try to make herself look shorter because the boy holding her hand was well below average height. He made up for it by being heavily muscled. His neck was pretty much wider than his head. They looked more lovely than I can put into words since their presence was an excuse to put a stop to Ryan’s exploration. Still, there was no point in putting out a welcome mat.

  ‘Where I come from, this isn’t a spectator sport.’

  ‘Yeah, and the sooner you go back there, the better.’ Claudia yanked on the boy’s hand. ‘Come on, Henry. Let’s go.’

  ‘We’ve only just got here,’ Henry pointed out. ‘Here’ was obviously the place for a bit of quiet snogging and he wasn’t all that pleased about missing out. ‘Go where?’

  ‘Back to the party,’ she snapped.

  ‘Yes, hurry back to the party,’ I said acidly. ‘You don’t want anyone else to get there first. But if you think Natasha is going to be pleased to hear your news, you’re mistaken. And you never know – she might decide to shoot the messenger. I’d be very careful if I were you.’

  ‘You’re the one who needs to be careful.’

  ‘Claude.’ There was a warning in Ryan’s voice and she subsided with an evil stare at me. Henry had already begun to walk away and after a second she did likewise, breaking into a knock-kneed run that made her look as if she might collapse into the sand at any moment.

  ‘Not a natural athlete, our Claude,’ I observed. ‘But she’ll get the message across.’

  ‘She should know better. She should keep her mouth shut,’ Ryan said, and I was surprised by how grim he sounded. Still, when he turned back to me it was with a crooked grin. ‘Still, no reason to stop now.’

  ‘Every reason.’ I peeled myself off the kiosk. ‘Time to get back to reality. Or in my case, go home.’

  ‘Don’t go. Stay for a bit.’

  ‘You know, I meant what I said. I’m not looking for a holiday romance.’ I said it gently but his eyebrows drew together.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘I mean that this has been nice, but I don’t think I should stay any longer. People might get the wrong idea.’ God, this was difficult. How to put it so he couldn’t misunderstand? ‘You might get the wrong idea.’

  ‘It’s just a bit of fun, Jess. I’m not proposing marriage.’ There it was again, that little flick of sarcasm I didn’t expect from him. I was beginning to realize I’d misjudged him. I’d thought he was cute but harmless. He was a lot cleverer than I’d thought, and he went to great lengths to hide it. The warning bells were ringing so loudly I was halfway to being deaf.

  ‘Fun is fine, in its place.’ I stuck my hands in the pockets of my jeans. ‘Look, you’re a lovely guy. Really. I just think we should be—’

  ‘Friends?’ Ryan laughed bitterly. ‘That’s my line, usually.’

  ‘It’s not a line. I mean it.’

  ‘This is like last year all over again.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘It’s pretty much what your cousin said.’

  ‘Except she said there was someone else.’

  ‘Yeah. She did.’ He frowned. ‘What about you?’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Is there someone else for you?’

  ‘Does there have to be? Oh, that’s right. Because there’s no way I wouldn’t be interested in you otherwise, is there?’ I shook my head. ‘You know, it’s a real shame you’re scared of heights, because otherwise you could borrow a stepladder and get over yourself.’

  He took a step towards me and I backed away, right up against the kiosk.

  ‘Why were you asking me about Will Henderson?’

  ‘No reason.’

  ‘Is he the one?’ His hands were clenched into fists. ‘I’ve been waiting for a reason to punch him, so just say the word.’

  ‘It’s not him. There isn’t anyone.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Positive. I do not fancy Will Henderson.’ My voice was sharp with irritation and tension, and it came out louder than I would have wanted.

  Ryan had opened his mouth to reply when a torch flicked on, right beside us, and caught him full in the face. He screwed up his eyes, struggling to see the person who was standing on the promenade, a couple of metres away from us.

  ‘Turn it off.’

  ‘
Is everything OK here? Jess, are you all right?’ The torch flicked over me, assessing me. I knew my hair was a mess, I suspected my make-up had smudged badly, and I was fairly sure my top was not as it should have been after Ryan had tried to burrow under it. Nevertheless, I tried to look as if I was in complete control of the situation.

  ‘I’m fine, Mr Henderson.’ I corrected myself. ‘Sorry, Inspector Henderson.’

  ‘Just call me Dan.’

  Never. ‘OK. Well. I’m fine. I was just going to go home.’

  ‘That sounds like a good idea.’ The torch moved back to Ryan. ‘You should go too, young man, by whatever route takes you in a different direction. I’ll make sure Jess gets home.’

  Ryan shook his head. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

  ‘Don’t come looking for trouble, Ryan. I’ll make sure that’s what you’ll get if you do.’ The policeman was maintaining a pleasant manner but there was something chilling about his words.

  Ryan opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again. He looked at me, then back at Dan Henderson.

  ‘It’s fine,’ I said. ‘Go home. Or not. Whatever you want. I’m going, though.’

  ‘I – I’m sorry, Jess. I—’

  I cut him off. ‘Don’t be stupid. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  ‘Off you go.’ Dan’s tone didn’t encourage any more discussion, and after a few seconds Ryan walked away, his shoulders hunched as if he suddenly felt the cold. I was shivering myself. The night air lacked warmth, but that was the price you paid if you traded cosy clouds for a spectacular display of stars. I leaned back to look up at them so I didn’t have to watch Ryan leave, or talk to Dan. Maybe he would forget about me and just go.

  ‘Right. Now to get you back.’ Dan clicked his torch off. ‘I’ll give you a lift. My car is parked nearby.’

  I really didn’t want to get into a car with him. ‘You don’t need to take me home,’ I said quickly. ‘I’ll be fine.’

  ‘I’d like to make sure you get there safely.’

  ‘I can look after myself.’

  ‘Is that right?’

  ‘Despite appearances to the contrary.’

  He laughed, which I hadn’t expected. ‘I’m sure you had a plan.’

  ‘I didn’t need one. Everything was fine.’ If I said it enough, I might even believe it myself.

  ‘You and I know that’s not true.’ He tossed the torch up in the air and caught it and I had a strong feeling of déjà vu. It was unsettling until I made sense of it: Will had done the same with his screwdriver in the charity shop. They were so alike. And poles apart, obviously.

  ‘Ryan’s not a bad kid but he goes too far sometimes.’

  ‘He wouldn’t have got much further with me,’ I said tartly.

  ‘You’d have stopped him, would you? Maybe I shouldn’t have got involved, then.’

  I swallowed the six rude things I wanted to say. ‘I was grateful. But I wasn’t in any difficulties and I am capable of making my own way home.’

  ‘You say that, but I can’t let you.’ Dan smiled ruefully. ‘It’s stupid, I know, but I want to know you’re OK. It would keep me from sleeping tonight if I didn’t see you home. And anyway, you’re cold. You’re shivering. I’ll put the heat on in the car to warm you up.’

  He was a police officer. There couldn’t be anyone safer to trust, even if I wanted to run in the opposite direction. Maybe it was time to start letting other people help me out now and then. Besides, he had a point. It was cold, and a breeze had picked up, ruffling the waves. Be sensible, Jess.

  ‘If you don’t mind giving me a lift, I’d be grateful.’

  He held out his hand and helped me to climb onto the promenade. ‘Knock the sand off your shoes before you get into the car and we have a deal.’

  ‘Jess!’ Darcy was panting across the beach, making heavy weather of it. She sank to mid-calf in the soft, dry sand with every step. ‘Wait! I wanted to talk to you.’

  ‘Come with me, then,’ I called. A little too late, I turned to Dan. ‘I mean, is it OK for her to come with us? Just to my house?’

  He was going there anyway; he’d have to be a piece of work to say no. But he had a good old think about it anyway before he made up his mind. ‘Fine. Why not. The more the merrier.’

  ‘Oh, thank you.’ Darcy clambered up onto the promenade and leaned on a post for a minute, her chest heaving. ‘God, that was horrible.’

  ‘The party or the run?’

  ‘Running, of course.’ She shook her head. ‘Anyone who would do that voluntarily would have to be insane. Coco Golding trains on the beach four times a week. I don’t know how she does it.’

  ‘Coco? As in Natasha’s friend Coco?’

  ‘She’s an amazing runner – her distance is the four hundred metres. She’s trying to get into the national squad.’

  ‘Coco. As in, fair hair. Pretty face. Little short legs.’

  ‘They may be short but they move quickly.’

  I was reconsidering my opinion of Coco. ‘Well, I’d never have guessed.’

  Dan had been listening with an amused expression. ‘You don’t need a lot of height to be fast, Jess. It’s just more bulk to move when you’re running short distances.’

  ‘I stand corrected.’ It sounded too wholesome a pastime for one of Natasha’s friends, and I wondered about Coco, about whether she was really committed to Natasha’s world, and whether she might think about telling me what had made her sick to her stomach on the clifftop. I might ask, if I ever saw her without Natasha or one of her coven in tow.

  Though I was finding it hard to like Darcy given what I knew about how she’d behaved towards Freya, I loved her in the car. She prattled away about everything and nothing, keeping the conversation going so I didn’t have to deal with Dan. Every so often he aimed a question at me but Darcy got there first. It wasn’t a long drive to the cottage and Darcy had plenty to give. By the time we pulled up outside the house, Dan’s face was a scowl. He managed to get Darcy to shut up for long enough to offer us a bit of fatherly advice.

  ‘I don’t want to see you hanging around on the beach late at night again, either of you. The only thing you’ll get out of it is trouble.’

  ‘Oh, I completely agree,’ Darcy said earnestly. ‘Don’t you, Jess?’

  ‘Completely,’ I echoed. I meant it too. I was planning on staying away from the social scene Port Sentinel had to offer for the remainder of my stay. There were too many potential ways to offend. This was not my world and I didn’t want to cause trouble that would resonate after I’d packed up my things and gone back to London. I couldn’t flirt with Ryan any more either. Fun though it was to bait Natasha, I didn’t want to be in the middle of their games. He’d unsettled me enough that I wanted to stay out of his way, something that Natasha would wholeheartedly support.

  I had just started to open the door when Dan’s hand shot across and held onto my arm.

  ‘Wait a second, Jess. I want a word with you.’

  Darcy was already out of the car, standing by the door, shifting from foot to foot. ‘I need to let Darcy into the house.’

  He didn’t even look round. ‘It’s not raining. She’ll survive.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Listen to me.’ He leaned across, his face inches away from mine. ‘I know you’ve been asking questions about Freya’s death.’

  ‘Who told you that?’

  ‘I hear about everything that happens in Port Sentinel.’

  I couldn’t help thinking of Will, and his reputation, but I forced his face out of my mind. ‘If you hear everything, do you know who killed her?’

  His jaw tightened. ‘It was an accident. She fell.’

  ‘How do you know?’

  ‘Because Freya was a silly little girl with a head full of romantic notions, and she didn’t have the sense to stay away from high places.’

  I leaned back against the seat, wishing I could move further away. ‘You sound like you knew her well.’

  ‘Well enough
.’

  It was a mad idea – completely insane – but I looked at Dan Henderson and found myself wondering if Freya’s substitute for Will had been someone who looked a lot like him. Someone well respected, who was confident and controlling and in love with his power. In love with himself enough to encourage a teenage girl’s crush? To take advantage? What if something had happened between them? The idea was enough to make me gag, but he wasn’t actually that old. Mum was thirty-six. He’d be about the same.

  I very much wanted to shower for about fifteen years just for having the thought, but I couldn’t ignore it. Dan was watching me. I hoped he couldn’t read my mind. Considering what he said next, I was glad I couldn’t read his.

  ‘You know, I’m not surprised Ryan was all over you. He’s got good taste.’

  Oh. My. God. I stared at Dan wordlessly. He grinned. ‘You remind me of her.’

  ‘Freya?’ I managed.

  ‘I was thinking of Molly.’

  I cleared my throat. ‘Well. Not surprising really. Genes will do that.’

  His grip on my arm loosened, but he didn’t let go. Slowly, deliberately, he stroked my wrist with his thumb, trailing it across the veins where the blood ran close to the surface. ‘Stop talking about Freya. Stop asking questions. You’re getting mixed up in things you don’t understand.’

  I pulled my arm away from him and scrabbled for the door handle, completely freaked out. He reached round and took hold of my chin, turning my face towards him with too much force for me to be able to resist.

  ‘Wait.’

  ‘I don’t—’

  ‘Your lipstick is smeared.’ Before I could stop him he drew his thumb along my lower lip, staring into my eyes the whole time. ‘There. That’s better.’

  I’m not sure how I got out of the car, but I know I did it quickly, before anything else could happen. I know I didn’t say thank you, or goodbye. I know I ran to the front door on wobbly legs, and that Darcy’s face was all startled speculation.

  And I know Dan watched as I fumbled for my keys, unlocked the front door and let Darcy in.

  Somehow I gathered myself together before Darcy could ask what we’d been talking about – she would be the world’s worst person to confide in, anyway.